reflection

So, my Dad told me to make a post with some of my final thoughts and reflections on my trip. Since I'm sitting in the JoBerg airport with an hour to kill until my next flight, I figured I'd give it a shot.
These past 2 weeks have flown by, I don't know where the time went. We spent on weekend celebrating the Final Draw for the 2010 World Cup. It was incredibly, they estimate a little more than 30,000 people came downtown for the event. Everyone out in the streets, dressed up, singing, chanting, it was a really fun night. Crowded, but fun.
Then I had my last week with my children- horrible. I cried like everyday leading up to it, and hated saying bye to them. I told them all "ndiya kuthanda" (i love you) when I hugged and kissed their cheeks, they all said it back. Heart wrenching.
The last week is a complete blur. Had to see all the people I'd met in the city, travel to different places I hadn't seen yet, pack, souvenir shop, it was intense.
So now, I'm here, drinking my last glass of South African wine, crying like a baby, alone at the bar. yeah so there was no "reflection" in any of that was there? ok...
They tried to warn us when we signed up for this trip to have no expectations. But, come on, that's impossible. So I was expecting to come here, work with the kids, go home and sleep, wake up and do it again. I didn't realize how long 3 months really was, and I didn't know how attached I would get to my babies and to this city. NOt to mention the amazing people I've met in Cape Town especially my amazing roommates. No one else will be able to understand what we went though these past few months, in our soap opera like lives. I couldn't have asked for a more dedicated, caring, and genuine group of people in my entire life. Here come the tears again.
We would often come home and talk about our days, what happened, what kid threw up, who remembered how to do the ABC's, who had a temper tantrum. And I just want to remind each of you, that we didn't come here to change the world, but in Madi's words "we came here to change lives" and I truly believe that each of you were able to do that. Because I know you changed my life. I'll love you all.
Working with the children in Khayelitsha was an absolute blessing. I can remember spending my first day crying in the bathroom for like 20 minutes because I didn't know if I was strong enough to help these children. But day after day my relationship with them grew, and I realized that I can help them by simply showing up and hugging them, telling them how beautiful they are, playing with them, singing with them. It really is the small things that make a difference. Seeing my little Asiphe get accepted into real school, and thanking me for helping him with his colors because they asked him about that in the interview. Seeing my Zuzu smile is enough to break my heart in 2. Knowing that I helped tranfsorm their classroom in a space about learning, and a place they want to spend time in.
I don't know how good I am at this reflection thing, but I guess if I had to sum up my trip here...scratch that, it can't be summed up. But everyone at home- know that this will be the only thing I talk about for a very long time.

Time for a very long flight.
I love you.